With the advent of Facebook, this blog took a break. I guess it's the sign of the times. My life also got exponentially busier (more busy...?) which left me with little time to post an actual blog. Facebook posts are short and sweet...blog posts, not so much.
Mostly I'm back because I have a few things to say. Where to start...
Dance vs. Softball
Every single year at the end of May, these worlds collide. Sadly, the loser is always my girls. The dance people want them in class as they are working out their final staging for the recital. The softball people need them at the games as they are playing their pool/tourney games. I am put in the middle, trying to make everyone happy. I would have to say that this is by far one of my top two most stressful times of the year. The girls rarely, if ever, miss dance classes throughout the year. Not to mention they (especially Dani) are routinely overlooked and placed in the back of group numbers. Dani in particular works her a$$ off in her classes and I always feel so bad for her. The softball people hate having to work around dance, but again...Dani missed one practice all season. One. However, she is a valued member of the team (she plays 1st base and has an awesome bat) and receives the recognition she deserves. I guess I'm between a rock and a hard place with all this. Dani is not the favorite at dance and having this conflict with softball each year simply amplifies it...whereas in softball she is valued and loved by her teammates and her coaches. I try so hard to keep the peace, but I'm getting sorta tired of doing that. The studio owner recognizes that some company members (which both girls are) have other interests. I think where I get upset is when other company members are off on vacation or at other school functions, and it's OK. However, when my girls are playing a softball game, I feel their wrath and have to suck it up. Makes for a very unhappy, stressed out mama.
Dog Stuff
I love dog agility. I really do. It's an awesome way for the dogs and I to go out there and give it our all. Sadly, the agility world is not without it's own drama. I left the club of which I was one of the original board members (back before agility was cool). Why did I leave? The board that has been in charge for a while now is slowly driving the club into the ground. The president is very immature and is all about drama. It's as if she never left high school. She started talking about me behind my back. Of course, I have a wide network of friends in agility so it all got back around to me. I decided that I simply couldn't associate with this sandbox-type behavior, so I left. Even though I left, the drama continues to follow me. I am so over it and haven't associated with these people in months, but they can't seem to leave me alone. Thank goodness I have some awesome and amazing friends who have my back. Not sure what I'd do without them!!
The "Illness"
2013 has been a challenging year. Christmas morning, Jeff, the girls' dad (we are separated), had a severe acute case of pancreatitis. He almost lost his life twice, but battled back each time. As of this post (mid-June), he is still in the hospital. The girls and I have been adjusting...we have our good days and bad days. While I want him to get out of the hospital soon, I am conflicted. I have been a true single mom for 6 months, and I don't want to share the girls again. Maybe I'm being selfish, but we've gotten used to the "new normal" and it will be hard to go back to what it was like "before." Jeff will be fine, though he will have a lot of adjustments to make when he does get out of the hospital and I wish him nothing but the best. It's been a roller coaster ride for everyone and I'm pretty sure we're all ready to get off.
Friends and Such
I struggle with this. I am one of those people who is very friendly and an extrovert by nature. I had lots of friends growing up and always had someone to hang out with. Now, not so much. I really treasure my dance friends, softball friends and agility friends...they are fantastic, but what's missing are the school mom friends. I have been on the edge of a clique for a while now and can never seem to "get in." I'm not trying overly hard to do so as I abhor cliques, but I see how it hurts Dani. She is friends with some of the girls in this clique and when we don't get invited to one of their many parties or camp outs or whatever, it hurts. She is already somewhat shy, so when she hears about all the good times these kids have at these functions, she shuts down. Like I said...I've tried to "get in," but truth be told...I'm a) not a heavy drinker and b) a LOT older than all of them. Drinking seems to be a mainstay at these parties and I just don't go for that. I just don't seem to fit in...which I'm not totally upset with...but it doesn't feel good either. I think I just need my bestie...and she's in Wisconsin. I guess I need an Arizona bestie. Course, I may be too old to use that term, but whatever.
To Wrap It Up...
Perhaps I've been having somewhat of a pity party lately. I've been doing my best to keep it all together for the girls and to be positive, but many times I fail. I am NOT superwoman nor do I care to be. I am simply a mom who is trying to do everything in her power to make everyone happy. Lately I feel as if I'm disappointing everyone and it sucks. Perhaps I need to seek professional help...or eat more chocolate...but something's gotta give. Only I have the power to change my life...I'm just too tired to start that journey.
Monday, June 10, 2013
Monday, February 16, 2009
ADCH Jam!! :-)
Can you believe it? My Jam...baby Jam...earned her ADCH at the Tucson USDAA trial this past weekend. What a girl! We needed one Pairs leg and one Gamblers leg going into the weekend. My Pairs partner was a very fast, nice Sheltie who did her half of the course with ease. Jam knocked a bar, but it didn't matter as their time was fast.
The gamble was very doable for Jam and had an a-frame in it...her favorite obstacle! She barely got the a-frame contact (thank goodness I hadn't cut her nails recently!) and won the class! I am so PROUD of her!
She started her competition career in May of 2007 in Bermuda. It took her about 1 year, 9 months to get her ADCH (from start to finish). We don't get to compete as often as many of my friends, so we had to make each outing count. And she totally came through! She is truly a special girl. I am the luckiest person on the planet to own such a wonderful little Toller...she ROCKS!
The gamble was very doable for Jam and had an a-frame in it...her favorite obstacle! She barely got the a-frame contact (thank goodness I hadn't cut her nails recently!) and won the class! I am so PROUD of her!
She started her competition career in May of 2007 in Bermuda. It took her about 1 year, 9 months to get her ADCH (from start to finish). We don't get to compete as often as many of my friends, so we had to make each outing count. And she totally came through! She is truly a special girl. I am the luckiest person on the planet to own such a wonderful little Toller...she ROCKS!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
What's it all about?
Wishy poses a question in her blog..."why do we do agility?" I responded in the form of a comment, but felt the need to expand on that thought.
My comment mentioned cameraderie. When I first started agility in 1993, I met and befriended some fantastic people. We became the best of friends and started spending a lot of time together. The highlight of each year was roadtrippin' to Pueblo to compete in a USDAA trial. We were together for 5 straight days and rarely, if ever, got on each other's nerves. We did this for several years and have fond, happy memories of those times together. THAT is what hooked me into this sport and kept me going.
At the time, I ran a Beagle (NEA, Her Beagleness) and we weren't wildly successful. It was those same friends that kept my spirits up and helped me to see the comedy in each situation. I cherish those times and miss them tremendously. You see, each of those folks ended up leaving the sport for one reason or another. Some lost interest, some moved away, some moved on. I keep in touch with them, but miss the times we had together.
I stayed with it (agility) and my friend set changed, but the one common bond we all share is the love of our dogs. While there are no more roadtrips (having kids put a stop to that) I still feel a wonderful bond with many of these friends and cherish each moment I get to spend with them.
Another aspect of friendship is the one I share with my dog. I've blogged about my tragic losses (losing 4 dogs in 1 year) so I won't go deep into that, but one thing I came away with after that horrible year was a whole new perspective. I went 3 years without an agility dog. Three very long years. When I got Jam, I was overjoyed, enthralled and fell in love with her almost immediately. While I was anxious to get back into the ring, lack of time and circumstances allowed for precious little training time. Instead, I worked on building a close bond between Jam and I. And that was time well-spent. We don't drill, we don't spend 30 minutes a day on backyard sets...heck, we were lucky to get in 10 minutes every 3rd day! Yet when showtime came, we hit the ground running. I am taking the same route with my new puppy and come showtime, we'll see what happens!
In summary, I do agility because it truly gives me a high. I get to spend quality time with Jam and socialize with friends...two of my most favorite things to do!
My comment mentioned cameraderie. When I first started agility in 1993, I met and befriended some fantastic people. We became the best of friends and started spending a lot of time together. The highlight of each year was roadtrippin' to Pueblo to compete in a USDAA trial. We were together for 5 straight days and rarely, if ever, got on each other's nerves. We did this for several years and have fond, happy memories of those times together. THAT is what hooked me into this sport and kept me going.
At the time, I ran a Beagle (NEA, Her Beagleness) and we weren't wildly successful. It was those same friends that kept my spirits up and helped me to see the comedy in each situation. I cherish those times and miss them tremendously. You see, each of those folks ended up leaving the sport for one reason or another. Some lost interest, some moved away, some moved on. I keep in touch with them, but miss the times we had together.
I stayed with it (agility) and my friend set changed, but the one common bond we all share is the love of our dogs. While there are no more roadtrips (having kids put a stop to that) I still feel a wonderful bond with many of these friends and cherish each moment I get to spend with them.
Another aspect of friendship is the one I share with my dog. I've blogged about my tragic losses (losing 4 dogs in 1 year) so I won't go deep into that, but one thing I came away with after that horrible year was a whole new perspective. I went 3 years without an agility dog. Three very long years. When I got Jam, I was overjoyed, enthralled and fell in love with her almost immediately. While I was anxious to get back into the ring, lack of time and circumstances allowed for precious little training time. Instead, I worked on building a close bond between Jam and I. And that was time well-spent. We don't drill, we don't spend 30 minutes a day on backyard sets...heck, we were lucky to get in 10 minutes every 3rd day! Yet when showtime came, we hit the ground running. I am taking the same route with my new puppy and come showtime, we'll see what happens!
In summary, I do agility because it truly gives me a high. I get to spend quality time with Jam and socialize with friends...two of my most favorite things to do!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Motherhood and dog stuff
Motherhood. One of those things that doesn't come naturally to me, but I figure if my kids are still breathing, fed, and generally happy then I must be doing something right! I have Erin with me all day on Tuesdays and Thursdays. These are actually tough days for me since she is always wanting me to just "be" with her. I, of course, have 1,000 things to do so at some point during the day she sits in front of the TV, watching Dora or Olivia or whatever else. I feel guilty.
Then there's Dani. She's in school, but if I happen to take Erin to McD's or to the park during the day, she gets upset. I feel guilty.
Course Dani gets to go to ballet, Erin doesn't. On ballet nights, Erin still puts on ballet clothes, but stays home with Daddy. Again, I feel guilty.
I head to a dog show...and this month, there are 3 shows in a row...and leave them with Daddy. They ask me if I'll be home that weekend and when I say no, they get sad. I feel guilty.
I'm convinced that no matter what mothers do, they are always feeling guilty.
Dog Stuff. We had a show this past weekend in which one of the days (Sunday) was canceled due to rain. It didn't actually rain all day, but the damage was done early on...when we all got to the show site the field was full of puddles of water and the mud was everywhere. In the interest of keeping a show site and keeping the dogs/handler safe, the club decided to not attmept to hold a show that day.
BUT, on Saturday Jam and I had 5 fabulous runs! We Q'd in everything we ran:
Masters Gamblers...2nd place and Q
Masters Standard...1st place and Q
Masters Snooker...1st place and Super Q
Grand Prix...1st place, Q and a bye!
Steeplechase...3rd place and a Q
All we need now for our ADCH is 1 Masters Gambler Q and 1 Masters Pairs Q. We have a trial this weekend and one next weekend. Hopefully we can pull it together in those two weekends! :)
I start my job next Tuesday. I'm both dreading it and looking forward to it. Dreading it because I barely have time for everything now...how will I manage when I have a job? Oh...and I won't be able to drop off/pick up Dani from school anymore...more guilt there. Looking forward to it because we need the $$ and I think it'll be an interesting job. The commute isn't that great, but I'm hoping to get in early to avoid the brunt of rush hour. Now I've got to start setting that alarm so I can actually get up AND function on Tuesday!
Then there's Dani. She's in school, but if I happen to take Erin to McD's or to the park during the day, she gets upset. I feel guilty.
Course Dani gets to go to ballet, Erin doesn't. On ballet nights, Erin still puts on ballet clothes, but stays home with Daddy. Again, I feel guilty.
I head to a dog show...and this month, there are 3 shows in a row...and leave them with Daddy. They ask me if I'll be home that weekend and when I say no, they get sad. I feel guilty.
I'm convinced that no matter what mothers do, they are always feeling guilty.
Dog Stuff. We had a show this past weekend in which one of the days (Sunday) was canceled due to rain. It didn't actually rain all day, but the damage was done early on...when we all got to the show site the field was full of puddles of water and the mud was everywhere. In the interest of keeping a show site and keeping the dogs/handler safe, the club decided to not attmept to hold a show that day.
BUT, on Saturday Jam and I had 5 fabulous runs! We Q'd in everything we ran:
Masters Gamblers...2nd place and Q
Masters Standard...1st place and Q
Masters Snooker...1st place and Super Q
Grand Prix...1st place, Q and a bye!
Steeplechase...3rd place and a Q
All we need now for our ADCH is 1 Masters Gambler Q and 1 Masters Pairs Q. We have a trial this weekend and one next weekend. Hopefully we can pull it together in those two weekends! :)
I start my job next Tuesday. I'm both dreading it and looking forward to it. Dreading it because I barely have time for everything now...how will I manage when I have a job? Oh...and I won't be able to drop off/pick up Dani from school anymore...more guilt there. Looking forward to it because we need the $$ and I think it'll be an interesting job. The commute isn't that great, but I'm hoping to get in early to avoid the brunt of rush hour. Now I've got to start setting that alarm so I can actually get up AND function on Tuesday!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Things are looking up!
I haven't blogged in a while...I've been communicating through Facebook more these days, but you can't always put a lot into Facebook, so I'll still maintain this blog...when I remember! :)
I guess the biggest news of the day is I GOT A JOB!!!!!!! It's with a company in Phoenix that creates billing/acocunting software for law firms. My role will be that of a trainer, specifically training folks on how to install the software. The training is all done online, which presents challenges since you can't actually see the students, but with well-timed questions, I'm certain I can keep their attention...5% of the time anyway!! There may also be some opportunity for on-site training which will mean some travel.
All-in-all, it's a good thing. The company has won awards for their flexible workplace, so that is great. I can work from home a day or two a week, and I can also work 9 x 80's (8 nine hour days, 1 eight hour day with every other Friday off). The benefits are so-so, but not horrible. I am THRILLED beyond belief!
My husband is still looking to buy a business, and is close to making an offer on one of them, but he's waiting for some financial information before doing so. Meanwhile, he has a second interview with Wells Fargo for a Financial Analyst, so we'll see how that goes.
So far, 2009 is being kind to us. Let's hope the momentum keeps going in our direction! :)
I guess the biggest news of the day is I GOT A JOB!!!!!!! It's with a company in Phoenix that creates billing/acocunting software for law firms. My role will be that of a trainer, specifically training folks on how to install the software. The training is all done online, which presents challenges since you can't actually see the students, but with well-timed questions, I'm certain I can keep their attention...5% of the time anyway!! There may also be some opportunity for on-site training which will mean some travel.
All-in-all, it's a good thing. The company has won awards for their flexible workplace, so that is great. I can work from home a day or two a week, and I can also work 9 x 80's (8 nine hour days, 1 eight hour day with every other Friday off). The benefits are so-so, but not horrible. I am THRILLED beyond belief!
My husband is still looking to buy a business, and is close to making an offer on one of them, but he's waiting for some financial information before doing so. Meanwhile, he has a second interview with Wells Fargo for a Financial Analyst, so we'll see how that goes.
So far, 2009 is being kind to us. Let's hope the momentum keeps going in our direction! :)
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Guess I should be sick more often!
Like...wow! Jam and I had an agility trial (USDAA) this past weekend. And wow! I went into this trial with laryngitis, a decent cough and feeling generally poopy. I wasn't even sure I could tell Jam what to do while on course...I mean...when reading books to my kids at night, I was whispering them...that's how bad it was!
So I went in just hoping to get through the trial...and I came away with:
1 Masters Gamblers Q
2 Masters Standard Q's
1 Masters Jumpers Q
1 Grand Prix Q
1 Masters Snooker Super Q
The only thing we didn't Q in was Pairs...but that's because her partner went off course.
So, we are now 2 Gamblers and 1 Pairs leg away from our ADCH!! WooHoo!!! I couldn't be more pleased with my little red fireball! :)
This was also the first trial I was brave enough to bring Quila. I'm wondering if perhaps Quila's presence may have helped Jam to have an extra-stellar weekend...?! :)
2009 is lookin' good so far...here's hoping it continues in that direction!!
So I went in just hoping to get through the trial...and I came away with:
1 Masters Gamblers Q
2 Masters Standard Q's
1 Masters Jumpers Q
1 Grand Prix Q
1 Masters Snooker Super Q
The only thing we didn't Q in was Pairs...but that's because her partner went off course.
So, we are now 2 Gamblers and 1 Pairs leg away from our ADCH!! WooHoo!!! I couldn't be more pleased with my little red fireball! :)
This was also the first trial I was brave enough to bring Quila. I'm wondering if perhaps Quila's presence may have helped Jam to have an extra-stellar weekend...?! :)
2009 is lookin' good so far...here's hoping it continues in that direction!!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
2009
Funny...a year ago my title for the new year was "2008...gonna be great!" If I only knew then what I know now, I'd say "yeah, right."
Lemme get right to the point...2008 sucked. There are two good things I can think of off the top of my head that happened in 2008:
1. We had a great family vacation to Disneyland.
2. I got my beautiful, smart and wonderful Toller pup, Quila.
Other than that, it's sucked. Truly sucked. Course at the top of the list is both my husband and I being unemployed. In good economic times, not a biggie...but now, BIGGIE. Oh...and I should mention I was laid off TWICE in 2008. Nice.
Then there was the double-hernia surgery my husband had in February. His 2nd double-hernia surgery within a year.
Of course, in April Erin got stung by a scorpion. Any mom alive would NOT want to witness what their child goes through when the venom from the scorpion runs through their little bodies. It sucked.
Then there were all the other misc. things that went on...like the dryer going out which was more of a nuisance (an expensive nuisance) so I don't consider that part of the suckiness of 2008. The dog bite I suffered through was fairly traumatic, but thankfully I had a good friend who doctored me up and made me better.
Oh and the day my husband got laid off, I bent the shit out of my back passenger door on my SUV. Yeah...it sucked. I was pretty inconsolable.
So, I look forward to 2009 and hope she's a damn sight better than 2008. It's started out so-so...I have a decent case of laryngitis and my husband and I aren't speaking to each other at the moment, but it's gonna be OK (i think). I have a trial this weekend though if I can't issue commands (I can barely whisper right now) it could be rather comical!
I wish I could write something more poignant...I appreciate those who can. All I can say is with all the lemons I've been handed, I should be able to make the biggest, bestest batch of lemonade for 2009!
Lemme get right to the point...2008 sucked. There are two good things I can think of off the top of my head that happened in 2008:
1. We had a great family vacation to Disneyland.
2. I got my beautiful, smart and wonderful Toller pup, Quila.
Other than that, it's sucked. Truly sucked. Course at the top of the list is both my husband and I being unemployed. In good economic times, not a biggie...but now, BIGGIE. Oh...and I should mention I was laid off TWICE in 2008. Nice.
Then there was the double-hernia surgery my husband had in February. His 2nd double-hernia surgery within a year.
Of course, in April Erin got stung by a scorpion. Any mom alive would NOT want to witness what their child goes through when the venom from the scorpion runs through their little bodies. It sucked.
Then there were all the other misc. things that went on...like the dryer going out which was more of a nuisance (an expensive nuisance) so I don't consider that part of the suckiness of 2008. The dog bite I suffered through was fairly traumatic, but thankfully I had a good friend who doctored me up and made me better.
Oh and the day my husband got laid off, I bent the shit out of my back passenger door on my SUV. Yeah...it sucked. I was pretty inconsolable.
So, I look forward to 2009 and hope she's a damn sight better than 2008. It's started out so-so...I have a decent case of laryngitis and my husband and I aren't speaking to each other at the moment, but it's gonna be OK (i think). I have a trial this weekend though if I can't issue commands (I can barely whisper right now) it could be rather comical!
I wish I could write something more poignant...I appreciate those who can. All I can say is with all the lemons I've been handed, I should be able to make the biggest, bestest batch of lemonade for 2009!
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