Ponderings...

As I am set to embark on an agility adventure with my new dog, I cannot help but remember how it was with my old, now departed dogs.

I used to own 4 wonderful, absolutely fabulous "fur kids." They were each special in their own way...

First there was NEA. She was my Beagle and had attitude to burn. She was once nicknamed "Her Beagleness" by a friend in New Mexico, and it stuck. I unwittingly got her from a pet store. I started her in agility in 1993 and she went on to earn her Championship in USDAA-style agility. She was only the 2nd Beagle to attain that title.

Next came Fred. He was my rescue dog. I rescued him from Italian Greyhound rescue. He had personality plus! I "tried him out" for a week and during that week, everyone I saw said they would take him if I didn't. Needless to say, I kept him! He started agility in 1994, and quit in 1996. He had a degenerative eye disease that left him blind in his left eye.

Then there was Chakotay. He was my second Italian Greyhound. I saw him as a puppy while I was in San Antonio at the USDAA Nationals. He was so CUTE!! I wanted to take him home right there, but I didn't have the means nor the $$. Turns out that he was still available several months later and at a reduced price. He broke his leg 3 times, but these breaks never broke his spirit. He was and always will be my buddy. He competed successfully in agility, falling short of his USDAA championship by 4 Gamblers legs.

Finally there was Rysa. She was my big Toller girl. I loved her with all my might. She was sensitive, but would do any and every thing for me. She was my princess and went just about everywhere with me. She did agility, though she always seemed to have a "hitch in her giddyup." I had many specialists and vets look at her, but no one could figure it out. She ended up 3 legs shy of her Championship.

In 2003/2004, each of my dogs died one by one...

First Fred. He had osteosarcoma. He died in my arms at the age of 11 in May of 2003.
Next was NEA. She stopped eating and walking. We let her go gracefully at the age of 14.5 in Sept. of 2003.
Then, Chakotay. He also had cancer, myeloma. We were treating it, but it spread to his kidneys. He died at the age of 8 in Nov. 2003.
Finally, Rysa. She collapsed one night and never regained conciousness. She had Addison's...that's what was wrong with her the entire time, but no one knew. She was only 7...she died on June 23, 2004.

Just before and in between this timeframe, I was giving birth to my two daughters. My hormones were off the map. I wanted to die. I felt as if I had betrayed my dogs by having these human kids. Thankfully, a good therapist made me realize that that was not the case and that these animals were a huge part of my life and always will be in my heart. I just hadn't allowed myself to grieve properly. Luckily she helped me through that and I am in a much better place right now.

I last competed with Rysa in April of 2004. Now I am starting with Jam, my young Toller. I thought I'd feel more emotional when I stepped to the line with her the first time, but I didn't. I think mostly I felt numb, but happy to finally have my own dog to compete with again! The show in Bermuda will be my first USDAA show with her. USDAA is my preferred venue, so perhaps the emotions will show themselves then!

Regardless, I am looking very forward to the years ahead of fun, silliness and agility with Jam!